Here’s a letter from a boy in Dublin. You can see he’s got high hopes. Dad’s out of work and things are pretty tight down there. What are we going to do?
Thanks for your letter. Wow – quite a list. There’s a financial freeze here in the North Pole too – so if James gets one thing on his list he’ll be fortunate. It makes sense that the parent will be wondering how to deal with his disappointment.
Let me tell you a story.
A few years back when everything seemed a lot more jolly on the financial front, I planned to have a holiday after the Christmas rush. When the reindeer and I were delivering presents in the Carribean I thought that would be a lovely sunny spot to take a break. The holiday agent sent us a promotional video all about the cruise ship – wonderful big swimming pool, cabin with ocean view. Mrs Claus and I couldn’t wait. Our ship turned out to be a glorified rust bucket. The swimming pool was hardly big enough for my rubber duck and our cabin didn’t have a window at all. On the second day of the trip one of the engines broke down and, we limped back to the harbour without even a sniff of the Caribbeans. Huge disappointment!
Later that year I was having to check on some of our new Christmas delivery plans on the Greek islands. So I caught a ferry out to the islands. I’d heard about Greek ferries so I had no illusions – I expected an old crate of a ship and I got one. But this was a fabulous experience– Rudolph and I sat on the rough deck, soaking up the brilliant sunshine and dazzling ink-blue sea. We even saw a seal swimming alongside the boat.
What’s this got to do with Christmas presents?
When I had huge expectations, all I got was disappointment. The first trip had been a disaster because I’d expected it to be so much more.
The one difference was my expectation.
Percy, here’s a few suggestions for parents from me:
1. Help children to have realistic expectations.
With older children you might discuss your financial situation – and what amount can be set aside for presents this Christmas. (I don’t mean worry the children with all the concerns – but the children will deal better with the situation if parents aren’t pretending it’s something it isn’t).
2. Encourage children to make a list of two or three things they would like, within the possible price range, explaining that they will only receive one.
3. If the children are expecting me, explain to them that there are so many children needing a present this year that Santa will only have room on the sleigh for each to have a small toy.
The bottom line is:
When the children have realisitic expectations they are more likely to be happier with their presents.
Looking forward to hearing back from you tomorrow, Percy. I’m sure there’s lots more questions you’re hearing.
Day 2 ‘Need’ or ‘Want’
Day 3 Dealing with Disappointment
Day 4 Christmas Surprises
Day 5 Three Key Questions Regarding Purchases
Day 6 No Money This Christmas
Day 7 Christmas is for Giving
Day 8 When Sad or Bad Things Happen at Christmas
Day 9 When Grown Ups Fight
Day 10 An Attitude of Gratitude
Day 11 Can’t Forgive
Day 12 Christmas – What Really Matters
I have been wondering how to explain to the kids that this will be a pretty bleak Christmas and I love the thing about Santa only having enough room for one toy. That’s brilliant. x
Glad it’s helpful. More concrete suggestions and practical tips every day for 12 days!
Very helpful! Yes, it’s really about expectations, isn’t it? And we can reframe their expectations and make this the joyous occasion it’s meant to be!
Hi Tricia I like your expression ‘reframe their expectations’. Is there more about that?