Parenting Expert Val Mullally gives a call for peace –  a  call to every parent to take action for a happier, peace-full world.  

Do you ever worry about what sort of world your children will have to survive in? 

What sort of future will your child have?

It’s scary to have people in control of situations who are not in control of themselves.

It’s time for change. We need to be clearly anti-war. War is not an option.

“The cost of war not only to lives but to minds and imaginations, to the integrity of whole societies, is still unsurpassed.”  Rowan Williams

Cost of War to Lives, Minds, Imaginations and Society

 

It’s time for us to do differently. It’s time to raise a generation of people who know that all of us need and deserve mutual respect. We all need to learn how to cooperate.

It’s time to raise a generation who will lead well.

It’s our job as parents – and as grandparents –  to raise that generation.

“The hand that rocks the cradle rules the world.”

Such an old saying we often don’t stop to think about the power of that statement. You, mothers and fathers, parents are the ones who rock the cradle. And grandparents, we rock the cradle too.  This task is so huge and so urgent that every one of us needs to be on board  to make peace a reality.  You, parents, are the ones who rule the world because you are raising the next generation. You are raising the next generation who will either continue to repeat the same patterns of using aggression as their tool of choice to force their own way, no matter what the consequences, or you can raise a different generation who know how to calm themselves so they can stay in the clear thinking “Green Zone”, and model how to find better, kinder solutions, that take everyone’s needs into account.

We, as parents – and grandparents – need to demonstrate by our own lives that any form of bullying behaviour is NOT OKAY.

Will you choose to set the example in your own home?

“There is a choice in everything, but in the end the choice makes you.”

The choice is yours. The opportunity is here.

We all hope we will be parents who act in a loving way, but, as my colleague Elizabeth Garry Brosnan says,

Hope is not a strategy

Always we hope for better, more, greater… but dear friend, hope is not a strategy!

If we want to stop having bullies running the world we need to have a quiet revolution in our homes and schools. We need a clear strategy to raise a generation of children who know how to navigate relationships in a way that is mutually respectful.

We CAN make the difference.

Homes where there is joy, where there is harmony, start with ourselves and with our family interactions.

And we have the potential to raise happier children who will create a happier, more peaceful world.

You are the cradle-rockers!

Decide to be one of the growing numbers of parents who have a strategy for a happier home, for relationships that model cooperation, communication and connection. Let’s rock the world! 

But how?

One small step in the direction to peace in the world and peace in our families is to be more peace-full in ourselves. Then we will have the inner calm to perceive what’s needed and to respond helpfully, even when things aren’t going smoothly.

When we know how to respond, rather than react, we’ll also be able to model to our children how to move from conflict to connection –  a core skill that makes for happier day-to-day living, and is needed at every level of our social, education, business and political interactions.

 

It’s a starting point to being the cradle-rocker who makes the difference – even when your children are well past the cradle stage!

Let’s call for peace by living it. Let’s BE the difference that makes the difference.

Life is fragile.

 

Do you want to shift your parenting to be a peace-full and harmonious experience for you and your child?
Parenting Coach and Author Val Mullally can help:
Click the link to discover  how parent coaching can help you create a calmer happier home. Val Mullally (Accredited Coach – Association for Coaching)
For practical support on how to be the parent you’d love to join me on an  self paced, start-anytime online Parenting course:
Book me as your Motivational Speaker at your next event.
Check out my parenting books:
Invite me to join you via internet at your bookclub to discuss one of my books.
(My gift to you if there are six or more participants who will have committed to read the book ahead of the session).
Contact me if you’d like my support to create a calmer, happier home.

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Last edited January 10th 2020

Grab this Autumn Promo now!

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Want to get a flavour of this awesome opportunity to discover key Parenting insights, tools and tips? to create  happier home.    Watch the free section nowAutumn Sale  - Online Parenting course

Last edited October 28th 2016

Our Koemba ‘Deepen Connection and Communication with Your Child’ course in Cork, facilitated by Parenting Expert and author Val Mullally has had their introductory evening.  There’s still time to join the course, but HURRY! Last entered accepted only till this Thursday  (14 April).  Your doorway to Mindful Parenting.                                                                          

Click the live link to discover more about this Parenting Progamme that could help you have a happier, calmer family within weeks.

Last edited April 13th 2016

You look at the numbers on the weighing scale and groan,

‘How will I ever lose weight!’        You know, and I know, the festive season is hardly good for losing centimetres around your waist, or your rear end, but you are determined to get off to a good start with healthy eating in the New Year.

You may be wondering why I’m writing about weight loss when my work is as a Parenting expert. (I see myself as an expert on helping you to be the expert in  what your family needs to thrive). Last January I was asked to postpone a Parenting workshop.                                  

‘It seems people aren’t ready to get going till February’, the lady from the hosting organisation explained.

But the strange thing I noticed was that from the first week of January the car park was full when the evening slimming programme began. It seems everybody makes it a priority to get down to ideal weight when it’s the first of January. I was discussing this with a friend who responded,                                                      

‘But the best way to ensure that weight loss stays off could be to do something a Parenting course.’                                                                                                                          I raised my eyebrow questioningly.                                                                                    ‘Think about it,’ she said. ‘If things aren’t going well at home, we get stressed. And when we get stressed we comfort eat. And, bang, we’re back where we started, with the kilos piling on.’

Her response makes a lot of sense to me. If you are worried that your child is not coping at school, if you’re worried about bullying issues, if you’re stressed about your child’s behaviour, if you and your child aren’t communicating and are going through a stormy patch – it makes sense these things are stressing you. And there’s an old saying,

‘If Mum be happy we all be happy.’

If you as parent are stressed it tends to increase every family member’s stress, and so we all get caught in a downward spiral that easily skids out of control (weight included!) And if you think about it, our stress is largely related to anxiety; wondering how  we’ll cope. And Anxiety is something we can do something about, if we know how. Anxiety = Powerlessness x Uncertainty’ according to Chip Conley in ‘Emotional Equations’. So imagine if you knew how to increase your sense of Power to create a calmer home. Imagine if you could increase your sense of Certainty of what your children need to thrive. A greater sense of personal Power and a Certainty of what matters and what to do about it = Less Anxiety = Less Stress. And less stress is likely to result is becoming the calmer, happier, slimmer, fitter parent you really want to be.

This is only theory, but if it makes sense to you, why not discover the Koemba coaching approach to Parenting? This is a combination of my experience working with children and parents as a teacher and school principal, what I learnt though having children of my own, combined with Life Coaching skills and practical communication tools and key insights from Relationship theory.  Following on from the success of my ‘BEHAVE!’ Parenting course, my new ‘LISTEN!’ Parenting programme starts in Cork and also in Kilkenny this February. Want to know more? Take two minutes to watch our video clip, on the side panel. 

Sign up now to save €20 with the Early Bird option.

If you’re not lucky enough to be in those geographical regions, keep watching  our posts because we have exciting developments to launch new Parenting resources.

 

 

Last edited August 18th 2015

Contact us if you’d like to join the  Koemba Parenting courses in  Cork, with Parenting author Val Mullally. This six week course focuses on how to effectively connect and communicate, because these are essential skills for all of our relationships, especially to create a calmer, happier home.  CLICK HERE for details.

Last edited March 05th 2015

We’re delighted to be returning to Kilkenny to offer the 6 week Parenting Programme facilitated by Val Mullally and based on her forthcoming book: ‘BEHAVE! – What To Do When Your Child Won’t!’  http://www.koemba.com/education/parenting-course-kilkenny-autumn-2014/

Just a few spaces left – so book now to confirm your spot.

Last edited October 04th 2014

‘I hate you!’

“I can’t believe she said that to me,” exclaimed Jane. “Her little face was bright red.  And she was screaming ‘I hate you!’ ‘I hate you!’”

Mary smiled wryly. “I’ve had those outbursts too. When did our little darlings morph into monsters!”

Others nodded.

Jane could sense that the other parents knew what this experience was like.

One of the first things that they had discovered in the Parenting programme was that this was a safe space to share their concerns about the day-to-day issues that arise in their homes.

‘So what do we already know that could be helpful when your children turn their anger on you with words like this?’ the facilitator asked.

Within a few minutes the mood of the group lightened as they recognised that they had already gained helpful insights.

“I guess I’d need to climb off the ‘Oh no, she hates me’ bandwagon, ” said Jim. “It’s easy to think that my child doesn’t love me when I see that angry face.”

“Yes,” added another parent.  “Rather recognise that she’s saying, ‘I hate a particular behaviour of yours.”

In a few minutes the group had made several suggestions.

1)   Strong emotions are contagious, so focus on your breathing so that you don’t ‘hook in’.  Don’t let the anger stick.

“Don’t be like Velcro,’ chuckled Don,  “Be like Teflon; let your child’s anger roll off you!”

They remembered the core neuroscience and emotional intelligence insights the facilitator had discussed. This prompted further ideas:

2)   Recognise that when he’s this angry the ‘thinking part’ of his brain is not engaged.

3)    It’s no good trying to reason with him at this point; that can only come later once his anger subsides.

4)   Don’t try to persuade her that she doesn’t hate you. She wants to let you know that something isn’t okay for her right now.

5)   Recognise that anger is always a signal ‘I need change.’ Ask yourself what is the change your child is asking for.

The facilitator added a few other thoughts to the discussion:

6)   Help your child to NAME, CLAIM and TAME his emotion. In other words, see the emotion that is under the attacking words and respond to that: ‘You’ re very angry.’  When he has a NAME for his inner experience he can CLAIM it; recognise that that is what he is experiencing.  And when he can CLAIM it he can TAME it – bring it back under control.

7)   Also recognise that there are other emotions underneath blanket of her anger  – probably fear or disappointment.  It’s easier to connect with your child when you can picture what probably lies under the anger.

Jane smiled. When she had signed up for the Parenting programme she hadn’t realized how much the new learning would positively affect their everyday life in the home. She knew that by the end of this session she’s be going home with a different outlook and a more helpful way of responding next time her child had a meltdown.

Don’t miss out on YOUR CHANCE to discover the Koemba Parenting programme, starting this month in Kilkenny and in Cork:

Helping families to:

– think more clearly

 connect more compassionately

 behave more response-ably

 live more joyfully

Please note:  This story is fictional and does not record an actual event. 

8 sessions commencing:

Douglas, Cork Thurs 26 Sept 2013

Thursday evenings 7.30 – 10 pm

Kilkenny Wed 25 Sept 2013

Wednesday mornings 10am – 12.30

Investment fee: €187

Early Bird: €169 (pay by Mon 23 Sept)

 For more detail  email val@koemba.com or telephone Val 087 7609355

 For details CLICK HERE.

 

 

 

 

Last edited September 17th 2013

Are you anxious about your child as they begin preschool or school? Is your child anxious about school?

Free Parenting workshop at Ardfallen Centre, Douglas, Cork on Thursday 12 September at 7.30 pm. This is your chance to discover helpful insights and practical tools to reduce the worry and to deal with the situation.

Last edited August 24th 2013