What makes your child FEEL loved?
Here’s a summary of my tweets today re the child who thrives on ‘Words of Affirmation’
* We tend to give to our children the same sort of love that makes US feel loved but our child’s ‘love language’ might be different.
* Ask yourself : Did my child experience my love today?
* Some children experience love especially thru affirming words. How would u know? Listen for frequent comments eg ‘I love u’ ‘You look pretty’
* You love your child, right? But does your child FEEL loved? Sometimes as parents we miss the plot.
* What makes me feel loved doesn’t necessarily make my child feel loved. I love words of affirmation but my son puts value on quality time.
* Its challenging to give our children what THEY need to feel loved, rather than giving them what makes US feel loved.
* Avoid OTT ‘You’re terrific / brilliant’. Rather give descriptive praise e.g. U picked up the books and put them on the shelf. TY’
* Even positive labels like ‘good girl’ can be unhelpful for our children. Read my story about this.
* Labels can limit us to seeing just some aspect of our child’s behaviour, as though that is who the child IS.
* It’s not just what we say to our children. It’s HOW we say it.
* Mum gives out to 4 yo who responds: ‘Mummy who don’t you use your telephone voice to me?’
* To the child whose love language is ‘words of affirmation’ harsh criticizing words can be soul wounding.
* The way we talk to our children becomes their inner voice. – Peggy O’Mara
For more helpful tips and insights please check back here tomorrow or join me on Twitter.