‘Don’t talk so loud.’
It’s an interesting thing. Our brains are geared to hear action words.
So the ‘don’t’ isn’t heard.
The ‘talk loud’ is – and most probably will be acted out.
It’s much more helpful to give your child an instruction of what you DO want.
Rather than ‘Don’t run’ say ‘Walk.’
Rather than ‘Don’t stand in front of the TV,’ tell your child what he can do. Ideally give a choice. (‘Come and sit with me and watch TV or go play over there.’)
This is also important to remember at times like a visit to the dentist.
Don’t cry,’ might well cause floodgates.
Rather refocus your child’s attention,
‘Think about your breathing. In –out – in,’
or ‘Think of a happy place you’d like to be right now.’
These are likely to be a better support to your child, especially if your own body language, eye contact and tone of voice are calm.
Watch your language. Catch your negatives and rephrase them as positives.
Make a mental note of the difference in your child’s response.
I’d love to hear your examples and feedback.