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March 15th, 2012  

Dad: Key Member of the Parenting Team

by Val Mullally

The young dad, standing on the street corner is greeted with loud ʻHow ya doin?ʼ and friendly jostling by a group of his peers, all holding the pose of ʻSingle Manʼ except this man who is toting a toddler in a push chair. The little one seems overwhelmed by the sudden flurry and begins to whimper.
ʻWhatʼs up with ya then?ʼ and Dad lifts him out of the pushchair and onto the ground. The toddler takes takes a few hesitant steps then starts to cry. Dadʼs caught between wanting to chat with his friends and his responsibility for the little one.
ʻAll right then.ʼ He picks him up and puts him back in the pushchair. The child struggles and wails. ʻAll right, ya want your mam!ʼ says Dad. He takes his mobile phone out of his pocket and gives it to the child. The child stops crying and puts the phone to his ear. Heʼs hoping to hear his motherʼs voice but - nothing.
The child roars and flings the phone. ʻLook what ya did! Ya broke my phone!ʼ
The child is now wailing, nothing is stopping his tears. ʻYa wonʼt get the best of me!ʼ exclaims the Dad. Whatʼs needed for Dadʼs to step into effective parenting and meet the toddlerʼs needs?

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Keywords: challenging behaviour • co-parenting • dad and toddler • divorced parents • fatherhood • frustrated parent • need dads support • new dad • parent contradicts • separated parents

July 16th, 2011  

It’s only a tin can

by Val Mullally

It’s a fantastic Irish summer day and everyone seems to be walking along the beach front.
A young family is walking towards me, when suddenly the mother says to the pre-school age boy.
‘Don’t jump on it.’
Her words transform him into a guided missile that locks onto the drink can lying on the pavement.
In a sec. he’s jumped firmly on it, squashing it in the middle.
Frustration in her voice, the mother resorts to sarcasm.
‘Oh great, why don’t you dance on it!’
The boy, of course, complies! Waving his arms, wiggling his bottom as he performs multiple jumps on the can.
So what’s my response as a Parent Coach? ....

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Keywords: anger • boundaries with children • challenging behavior • challenging behaviour • communication • mixed messages • obedient children • overfunctioning • overfunctioning parent • parent contradicts • self esteem • setting limits • supermum • teaching children respect • why negative instructions don't work

June 04th, 2010  

Parent Contradicts

by Val Mullally

Parent Contradicts
What effect does it have on children when they receive conflicting messages?

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Keywords: mixed messages • parent contradicts • Raising Our Children Raising Ourselves • self esteem